Cap'n Betty.

Cap’n Betty came to be on the banks of the Pierre Marquette river. My sister Whittney and I were stuck on a three hour rafting trip with my husband Ben and were trying to amuse ourselves. I enjoy our families’ yearly trip on the river, but towards the end I not only get bored, I get sand in my shorts which is just horrible. Anyway, Whittney and I kept saying things like, “There’s Gators in these waters!” and “I saw a gator eat a whole cow on these banks once!”

What can I say? I’m goofy and it was a very long trip, but a fun one because Whittney and I were cracking ourselves and everyone else up (with the exception of Ben who was annoyed because we weren’t rowing enough). I had on this goofy Captain’s hat, and my sister was wearing one that said first mate. We thought we were hilarious, as we usually do. I’m still not sure why Cap’n Betty sounded like a Cajun Jimmy Stewart; most likely because accents aren’t my high card. Anyway, that was the first day I discovered Cap’n Betty.*

One day when I was playing with Rufus and Franklin, Cap’n Betty came back for a visit. We had turned the sofa into our ship, which I called the Nautilus. Franklin was being Batman again, and this time Rufus was Robin (who incidentally had his own Robin Jet-ski and could do amazing tricks and jumps at any time and never be injured or die).

They were both sitting next to me when I remembered our rafting trip on the Pierre Marquette. So I turned to Rufus and Franklin and I said very seriously, “There’s gators in these waters. Not safe in these waters. I got a cage that takes you down deep…You go in the cage, cage goes in the water. There’s gators in these waters. Gators come…snap off your feet!” (Which I modified from Jaws.)

The boys just loved it! We fashioned torpedoes out of coasters and pillows and pretended the family dogs were the gators. Admittedly, the dogs were not thrilled with this arrangement, but you’ll have that.
The Lucy-gator and the Jade-gator didn’t stand a chance. With Cap’n Betty’s superior skills at the helm and Robin (Rufus) on the jet-ski, we managed to kill every gator in the water. Unfortunately, Batman (Franklin) didn’t fare so well. We had to fish him out after falling in a dozen times, and re-attach his legs and arms on numerous occasions. It was touch and go for a while, but in the end, he made it.

We shouted things like, “Don’t go in the water chief!” and “Smile you son-of-a sea turtle!” when there was a direct hit. This game lasted for nearly three hours until my brother got him. Since then, Cap’n Betty and the gators has been one our favorite Thursday Adventures.

*Side Note: My husband Ben will tell you that Cap’n Betty and her first mate were annoying. This is not true. He doesn’t know what funny is sometimes.