One of my greatest fears is to be caught sitting on the toilet, pants around ankles while doing my business. I blame this fear on my Aunt Nina.
When I was 10 or 11, we had a family Easter at the Fred Wall Hall in the small town I grew up in. My family is really big and we could no longer fit into anyone’s house comfortably, so renting a hall seemed like a good idea, and it was and still is for the most part. The restrooms in The Fred Wall Hall are spacious- which I dislike.
I much prefer a restroom where I can be very close to the door so if someone opens it I can use my foot to rudely kick the door shut and shout at whoever has the nerve to have to use the restroom at the same time as me. Wait your turn for the love of Pete.
Anyway, when I was a kid, my Mom insisted my sister and I wear those little girl dresses with yards of fluff and tights to holiday celebrations. I was ok with that, except the tights never fit me right and I could never get the crotch in the right spot because I was way too tall so it hung down and I felt like I walked like a penguin all the time.
Anyway, I had to go to the bathroom, and I went in to do my business. I was only on the pot for a moment when the door was unceremoniously yakked open by my opinionated old lady Aunt Nina. I remember turning red and yelping, and she quickly shut the door. In my rush to finish, I got pee on my leg and had to use TP to clean it up. I washed my hands, humiliated beyond belief, and opened the door. Aunt Nina was standing outside and do you know what she says to me?
“You should have locked the door.”
So I said back, “I did. You ever hear of knocking?”
I was fuming. I was embarrassed. I never cared for her much after that. I decided she had old lady super strength and her arthritic, yet powerful hands had overcome the lock just to spite me and it was years before I could look her in the eye again. Since that time I have not cared for public restrooms. I doubt I ever will. To this day, I hate large restrooms. Give me a small stall any time.
It’s safer.
Monday, February 28, 2011
The Thursday Adventures.
My loyal, albeit small, band of followers will notice that I have changed the name and address of my blog. This is because I found the subject of reviewing children’s books too limiting. I read all kinds of different books do all sorts of different things and have decided to write about whatever tickles my fancy.
I decided to call my blog The Thursday Adventures, because every Thursday I watch my nephews, who are three and four. Every week, I plan on recounting my The Thursday Adventures because they are just too funny not to mention. My brother would prefer if I did not use their real names so I will refer to them as Rufus and Franklin for the purposes of my posts.
It has been four years since I started watching the boys, but of course at the time, Rufus was the only one. Franklin came along and the three of us have had more fun together that I ever could have imagined.
Rufus is very intelligent. He is four years old and I often feel like I am speaking to a mini-grown-up when he tells me something. He uses words like ‘actually’ and ‘seriously’ all the time. As in, ‘actually Aunt Char-char, I think it would be better if you pretended to be Yoda today’ or ‘I think Yoda should seriously consider going in a different direction if he doesn’t want his head chopped off.’
I find it very important to follow these suggestions. If you do not when playing with my nephews, you are often shunned and forced to play a non-speaking person such as Chewbacca. If you are Chewy, you can only make grunting noises and use your wookie strength to rip limbs off of other characters.
Franklin is very different from his older brother. He is less serious and far sillier. He enjoys making up songs, and adding the word ‘poop’ to these songs. As in, “We’re going on a trip in our poopy rocket ship, zooming through the skies, poopy Einstein’s!’ His love of the word ‘poop’ cracks me up because I happen to agree with him. Poop is funny.
As an Aunt, I am unencumbered by the parental parameters most people face. I figure it’s my job to make sure they don’t fight, get into trouble, get hurt and have the best time possible when I’m over. That usually involves me wearing a cape in the back yard while playing Batgirl, or a dinosaur hat we pretend is a stuffed alligator I killed and turned into a hat. This is a roll I invented and refer to as Cap’n Betty and for some reason; Cap’n Betty speaks like a Cajun Jimmy Stewart. Cap’n Betty shouts things like, ‘There’s gators in these waters’ and ‘Smile you son-of-a-sea turtle!’ while chucking fake torpedoes at imaginary alligators.
Our battles our epic, our adventures are grand, and our bond is priceless.
Look for more posts about the Thursday Adventures each week. As for the rest of my posts, I will discuss whatever I happen to find interesting. This could be anything from a new TV show I have watched to what’s going on in my kitchen. Anything! Thanks to my loyal followers out there, I hope you enjoy the new posts!
I decided to call my blog The Thursday Adventures, because every Thursday I watch my nephews, who are three and four. Every week, I plan on recounting my The Thursday Adventures because they are just too funny not to mention. My brother would prefer if I did not use their real names so I will refer to them as Rufus and Franklin for the purposes of my posts.
It has been four years since I started watching the boys, but of course at the time, Rufus was the only one. Franklin came along and the three of us have had more fun together that I ever could have imagined.
Rufus is very intelligent. He is four years old and I often feel like I am speaking to a mini-grown-up when he tells me something. He uses words like ‘actually’ and ‘seriously’ all the time. As in, ‘actually Aunt Char-char, I think it would be better if you pretended to be Yoda today’ or ‘I think Yoda should seriously consider going in a different direction if he doesn’t want his head chopped off.’
I find it very important to follow these suggestions. If you do not when playing with my nephews, you are often shunned and forced to play a non-speaking person such as Chewbacca. If you are Chewy, you can only make grunting noises and use your wookie strength to rip limbs off of other characters.
Franklin is very different from his older brother. He is less serious and far sillier. He enjoys making up songs, and adding the word ‘poop’ to these songs. As in, “We’re going on a trip in our poopy rocket ship, zooming through the skies, poopy Einstein’s!’ His love of the word ‘poop’ cracks me up because I happen to agree with him. Poop is funny.
As an Aunt, I am unencumbered by the parental parameters most people face. I figure it’s my job to make sure they don’t fight, get into trouble, get hurt and have the best time possible when I’m over. That usually involves me wearing a cape in the back yard while playing Batgirl, or a dinosaur hat we pretend is a stuffed alligator I killed and turned into a hat. This is a roll I invented and refer to as Cap’n Betty and for some reason; Cap’n Betty speaks like a Cajun Jimmy Stewart. Cap’n Betty shouts things like, ‘There’s gators in these waters’ and ‘Smile you son-of-a-sea turtle!’ while chucking fake torpedoes at imaginary alligators.
Our battles our epic, our adventures are grand, and our bond is priceless.
Look for more posts about the Thursday Adventures each week. As for the rest of my posts, I will discuss whatever I happen to find interesting. This could be anything from a new TV show I have watched to what’s going on in my kitchen. Anything! Thanks to my loyal followers out there, I hope you enjoy the new posts!
Monday, February 7, 2011
The Write Time.
The truth is blogging is difficult for me.
Finding enough brief words to fill up a page and try and keep it interesting is not exactly easy for someone like me. You see, I write books. They are long, involved books for kids of all ages. They consist of picture books, and independent readers, but I have piles of ideas that I am constantly putting down on paper and holding on to until a later date. My ultimate goal is in getting one (or all) of these books published.
But getting your book published is not as easy as it sounds.
I am so often asked by people my book has been published yet (I have written 5 and I’ve been at this for nearly five years) AND THE ANSWER IS NO. In truth, the first book I wrote I was in such a hurry to get finished that I got it done, half-heartedly searched for spelling errors and grammar misuse, and sent it out. The characters were predictable, the plot was far too complicated, and the story was just ok. I can say that now, because I am more than a little embarrassed that my work went out in such a state.
It’s the truth. At the time, I thought my words were brilliance, as most writers do. At the time, I thought the publishers were crazy not to jump at the chance to publish my words, and that I was going to be the next J.K. Rowling.
When no one did take an interest, (I had two publishing companies ask to see the book, then politely reject it, and one agent show interest and then reject it) I realized I must have gone wrong somewhere. I took these rejections to heart.
So, back to the drawing board I went.
I signed up for creative writing classes, and found that the reason I was rejected, was because I knew nothing at all. There are rules to be followed and I made so many mistakes that marked me as an armature from writing my own copy write at the top of the page, to the way I wrote my query letter. So I started from scratch on these books, and to this day I continue to work on them.
Why did I bother if no one wanted them at first? Simple. I love it. I just love it.
There is no greater sound than my fingers plinking away at the keys as ideas burst from my own imagination and come to life on the page. Every character profile, every pain-staking word I choose helps me to define the success I hope to achieve some day. When the words are right, it’s a marvelous day- when they aren’t, well, I just try again tomorrow. It is as simple as that. I have learned through the process that sometimes it is best to step back, and reproach with fresh eyes. The words will come, they always do.
Do I still want to be the next J.K. Rowling?
No. I’d settle for just being me, able to earn a living doing something I love so very much…but if it did happen, wouldn’t that be something?
Finding enough brief words to fill up a page and try and keep it interesting is not exactly easy for someone like me. You see, I write books. They are long, involved books for kids of all ages. They consist of picture books, and independent readers, but I have piles of ideas that I am constantly putting down on paper and holding on to until a later date. My ultimate goal is in getting one (or all) of these books published.
But getting your book published is not as easy as it sounds.
I am so often asked by people my book has been published yet (I have written 5 and I’ve been at this for nearly five years) AND THE ANSWER IS NO. In truth, the first book I wrote I was in such a hurry to get finished that I got it done, half-heartedly searched for spelling errors and grammar misuse, and sent it out. The characters were predictable, the plot was far too complicated, and the story was just ok. I can say that now, because I am more than a little embarrassed that my work went out in such a state.
It’s the truth. At the time, I thought my words were brilliance, as most writers do. At the time, I thought the publishers were crazy not to jump at the chance to publish my words, and that I was going to be the next J.K. Rowling.
When no one did take an interest, (I had two publishing companies ask to see the book, then politely reject it, and one agent show interest and then reject it) I realized I must have gone wrong somewhere. I took these rejections to heart.
So, back to the drawing board I went.
I signed up for creative writing classes, and found that the reason I was rejected, was because I knew nothing at all. There are rules to be followed and I made so many mistakes that marked me as an armature from writing my own copy write at the top of the page, to the way I wrote my query letter. So I started from scratch on these books, and to this day I continue to work on them.
Why did I bother if no one wanted them at first? Simple. I love it. I just love it.
There is no greater sound than my fingers plinking away at the keys as ideas burst from my own imagination and come to life on the page. Every character profile, every pain-staking word I choose helps me to define the success I hope to achieve some day. When the words are right, it’s a marvelous day- when they aren’t, well, I just try again tomorrow. It is as simple as that. I have learned through the process that sometimes it is best to step back, and reproach with fresh eyes. The words will come, they always do.
Do I still want to be the next J.K. Rowling?
No. I’d settle for just being me, able to earn a living doing something I love so very much…but if it did happen, wouldn’t that be something?
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